“Your Defects of Character are Assets Gone Out of Control”
You think you are being kind, generous and loving, but it’s hurting you and others around you.
A friend and mentor shared a quote with me, “Your defects of character are assets gone out of control.”, one day when I was telling her how I was struggling with having empathy for someone who had shown no empathy towards me. He was actually hurting me in the name of “caring deeply for me”, with his controlling, and forcing his will on me. I felt guilty about imposing a boundary that felt hurtful to him. This friend said, “It’s one thing to purposely hurt someone, but when someone is hurt because of your response to them hurting you, that is a lot different.”
She’s so right! Empathy is a wonderful quality to have, until it begins affecting your own health and growth. Having too much empathy towards this man, was hurting my health and personal growth. He was taking advantage of my kind, loving nature. He was manipulating me. It was making me feel resentful and exhausted. Resentment and exhaustion are signs that you need a stronger boundary.
What are Your Defects of Character Gone Wrong?
I’m not saying that all defects of character can be an asset gone wrong, but as I look at some of my other defects of character, I can see where that can be true…
