The Narcissist’s Guide To Gaslighting

10 Subtle techniques for distorting reality. A tongue in cheek look at what a narcissist may be thinking.

Photo courtesy of Canva

**To poke a little fun, this article is written in the voice of what I imagine a narcissistic person may think to themselves, or if they were to instruct someone else how to gaslight in a manual. It is not meant in any way to be harmful. If you feel you might be triggered, please do not read on. Narcissism is not funny in any way, but as you heal, it feels good to laugh and commiserate with others, about the common tactics all narcissistic people seem to use.

The Narcissist’s Guide To Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional abuse, used to get the target off center, and questioning their own reality. The ideal situation, if you are a narcissist, is for the target to be confused enough to believe the reality that they are being steered to believe. This “reality” is distorted and full of lies, of course, but they don’t have to know that.

Here are a few of the techniques that may be used:

1. Denying past events — You know you did something terrible, that will probably cause your target to get angry enough that they won’t cook your dinner, or give you sex later, so you make them believe that events did not happen the way they believe. It helps to get mad at them for even suggesting that you would do such a thing. You’ll have to be really convincing here, in order to keep them guessing. Say things like, “That never happened! You’re crazy!” or. “I would never do anything like that. Your friend, Camilla, is a problem. I know she’s putting these wild ideas in your head.”
2. Minimizing the target’s feelings — Make your target feel like they have no right to feel the way they feel, or better yet, tell them they are overreacting. This is a way to put them on the defensive, so that they end up forgetting about what you did, and instead, defending why they have a right to their feelings.
3. Shift the blame back to them — This is an excellent way to get out of accountability for the thing you did, or didn’t do. You twist the conversation back to something the target did, and use it as an excuse for making you to act the way you did. It’s okay if you have to go back days, months, or even…