The Narcissist’s Financial Control Playbook

These are the tactics a narcissist uses to control you with money.

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Narcissists usually start a relationship like your dream partner. They come across as thoughtful, generous, and loving. Over time, that wonderful person you’ve come to adore, begins to change. Little by little, they begin letting that dream partner mask slip. If you live with a highly narcissistic person, or ever have lived with one, you know that they like to have control over everything. They use many tactics to get that control, including lies and manipulation.

Their controlling behavior happens in small increments over time. Usually the changes are so small that you barely notice, until things seem to blow up with an argument, or betrayal that you didn’t see coming.

Financial control can come across like a caring gesture in the beginning.

• “I make more money than you, so let me pay the house payment.” (or rent)
• “You do most of the childcare, so I’ll pay the bills.”
• “I’m better at finances, so I’ll handle all the money.”
• “I will give you money any time you need it. Just ask!”
• “Let’s put all our money in one account, so we can budget better.”