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Gratitude, Even When the Toxic Person Has Ruined Your Holidays
Find the beauty that is still around you.
Today, in one of my groups, a woman was telling the story of how she and her family had planned to take a trip over the holidays. This woman had made all the arrangements, booking the Airbnb, planning the itinerary, and other details. This woman and one of her parents got in an argument and were no longer speaking. Unbeknownst to her, her parent and other siblings were still planning to go on the trip, but without her. She found out from another family member, that they had blocked her from any other arrangements. You can imagine how hurtful that must have been.
I must say, I admire her resolve. She chose to make the holidays great anyway. Instead of going on the trip with her parent and other siblings, she will spend the holidays with her friends, who are more supportive and loving. The toxic person in her life was hoping that her holidays would be ruined. They planned it that way, even recruiting other siblings, who know that if they were to take the side of their sister, they would all be cut out.
Another woman spoke up, and told about how one of her siblings ruins every holiday by starting a big fight. Her sibling came over and ate some Christmas cookies she had made for a company party. When this woman, who I’ll call Sue, asked her sibling not to eat the cookies, a huge, nasty argument ensued. Sue was confused, because the cookies were all wrapped up on a platter. Her sibling, lifted the wrapping and ate a cookie. It wasn’t so horrible, because Sue could rearrange the cookies so that no one would notice, but she wondered, “What kind of person, comes into someone else’s home, and unwraps a covered dish to eat a cookie without asking if it was okay?”
Sue’s sibling was in a rage about the incident. Her sibling said, “Who puts cookies on the counter that no one can eat?” She went on to rage about how Sue always does things like that, and then tries to control everyone in the house by not letting them eat. She ranted about how Sue buys things that aren’t on their diets, and alcohol that they shouldn’t be drinking, and listed all kinds of grievances from the past. Then, she said she wouldn’t be coming for Christmas.
