Betraying Yourself Causes Anxiety
Start paying attention to how you feel when you make decisions.
Are You Betraying Yourself?
Self-betrayal is when you ignore your own needs, either consciously or subconsciously, and give in to the needs and wishes of others. It’s not just people-pleasing, though, because self-betrayal also includes self-sabotage, ignoring basic needs, and not taking responsibility for your part in a situation. You lie to yourself, and you don’t act authentically for fear of abandonment.
How Self-Betrayal Starts
Self-betrayal is a trauma response, usually caused by being raised in a dysfunctional family system, or in an environment where your emotional needs were not met. For example, I had a sister that died when I was two years old. She had battled leukemia for a year. I don’t remember anything, but I imagine my parents were consumed with her care. On top of that, my mother was pregnant, expecting my younger brother. I know she would have done anything she could for me, but how could she have had the energy?
A client of mine, grew up in a home where her parents were going through a bitter divorce. Her mother worked long hours to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. When her father had visitation, he was neglectful, and caught up in mental health problems. My client was responsible for…
