10 Ways We Rationalize the Toxic Person’s Behavior
Plus, how to be honest with yourself and those around you.
One of my biggest regrets in my toxic relationships, is how I gaslighted my children, by making excuses, and rationalizing the toxic person’s behavior. There are actually a few toxic people in our lives, that I’ve made excuses for. It wasn’t to purposely manipulate anyone, but my reasoning was that I didn’t want anyone to feel hurt. I wanted to avoid pain, for everyone involved. That may sound somewhat admirable, or ideal, in a way. Shouldn’t it be our goal to live a happy, peaceful life?
Well, yes, and no. Yes, we want our lives to be happy and peaceful, but not at the expense of honesty. Not at the expense of making my children question their own intuition. Do I want them going through life, excusing hurtful behavior of others? Absolutely not. I want them to be aware when other people have hidden agendas, or behavior that will harm them. Isn’t it better if they recognize it right away?
My mother was a people-pleaser, and enabler too. She passed those traits on to me. I know she was like me, and wanted the best for everyone involved. It’s likely that she learned people-pleasing and enabling from her own mother.
In fact, society as a whole teaches girls that in order to be “a good girl”, you have to be kind to others, keep…
